Monday, September 19, 2011


Wish i could hate you.
You, are weak!
I'm RIGHT here.
Yet, you still fail to see.
Wish i could,
Delete you from life,
Delete you from existence.
Wish i could,
Delete you from memory,
Delete you!
Ever kissing me,
Ever meeting me.
Delete this weakness.
Delete this feeling, of vulnerability.
Wish i could.
Its all new to me.
Wish you were,
wish you were,
More, passionate.
Wish you could see,
But you are heedless!
Wish you would wake up,
But you are in deep sleep.
making me wait?
you are,
losing me.
Turning me off.
you are,
confusing me.
I wish i could.
I'm wishing you were.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Curiosity Enlightened the Cat

Although you were just a page
i was blue for a bit
Not a chapter
so I'll soon be over it
perhaps we needed this split
your carelessness
and your egotism ways
your coldness,
it doesn't suit well with my taste
no, this wasn't it
just a temporary excitement you could say
i was blind to an extend
but only until i applied the rules of the game
only then did it make sense
i started to recognize your cold frame
but its all over now
the page has been turned
i am no longer concerned
you have been replaced
replaced by my own thoughts
almost got trapped in the spirals of love
had to pull myself up
i was almost lost
no more going back and forth
this game was never about keeping scores
So, i thought
oh, and forget the table turning
its starting to bore me

Monday, August 22, 2011


Day 1
It’s tough. I’m trying not to think about it.
Trying to keep my mind painT free. Doing my best to keep busy.
To keep the shades of colors off my mind.
One day yellow
Navy the next.
Dark greens then some hot pinks
A lot of grays
I need more distractions
No blinking
I refuse to sink
in this puddle of paint

Friday, July 29, 2011

What reality were you raised in?

In Republic VII, Socrates attempts to explain what the form of the good or “reality” is. Socrates believes that to be a true philosopher who rules, knowing and understanding the form of the good is essential since it will result in happiness. Although he admits to not knowing exactly what the form of the good is, in exchange he uses the sun as a metaphor to show a clear form of good.
Imagine a deep, wide, dark cave under the ground where humans live with a long entrance as wide as the cave that leads the way outside where there is light. Furthermore, imagine that the cave is all these people know about because they have been living there since childhood, chained to the ground facing only one direction, unable to move their necks. They are prisoners. Picture also a burning fire behind these chained prisoners held at a high level reflecting a shadow on a massive screen held in front of them. Between the fire and the imprisoned stands a big wall which is lower than where the fire stands but higher than the prisoners. This wall between the fire and the prisoners is similar to a stand seen at a puppet show. Now that the image of the screen, the location of the prisoners, the stand behind the prisoners, and the fire held at a high level behind the stand is clear, imagine people behind the stand holding objects and statues made of rocks, leaves, and wood in the shape of people and animals which are being projected onto the screen in front of the chained prisoners. Along with the shadow of these images, the people carrying these images are making sounds to go with the shadows at necessary times and the prisoners are awarded for recognizing the shapes, the noises and their order.
The only things that these chained prisoners have been exposed to is the cave, each other, and shadows with noise, thus this becomes their reality. They believe in what they see and do not know any better. Now imagine if suddenly one of the prisoners was by force pulled out of the cave and taken outside where there is light. As we could imagine the prisoner’s eyes would be in excruciating pain because of the brightness of the sun. After some moments of disbelief, the prisoner’s eyes would adjust and he would see real animals, plants, and mountains he has only seen shadows of and learns to distinguish appearances from reality. Presumably he would notice the sun and realize that it is the sun that is responsible for the changes of the seasons. It is the sun that enables us to see the world, that makes the earth grow, and that governs everything. He would work out that it is the sun that is responsible for all. He has been exposed to the real world and realizes that he has been living a lie. At this point the man finds himself happy and feels pity for those still in the dark cave. He decides to go back to the cave and enlighten the rest with his discovery putting his life at risk to be taken as a result of the possible disbelief of the others who more than likely would want to remain in their perpetual ignorance. Here, the sun represents the ultimate truth many are ignorant to.
The allegory of the cave is the world we live in today; the world is our cave. The region that is revealed by sight is the prison dwelling. The light of the fire inside the dwelling is the power of the sun. The light of the fire is being used to cast these images and controls the limit of our knowledge. The shadow makers represent the opinions makers, or the people that make us look at the world in the ways that we do. They are the politicians, religious leaders, and teachers telling you what god to believe in, which corporations to trust, the news that is credible, etc. Even our parents, whom we naturally look up to, teach us their version of morality. As children we are born into religious practices, laws, and traditions that we are taught not to question as they are put in front of us at schools, churches, and through the word of our parents as the truth, as the “good”. We are surrounded by things that we cannot explain every minute, and everyday and these very things control our lives. As we get older we adapt to these practices and laws and start to believe that they are correct. The modern screens of the cave are movie theaters and television. Subconsciously, messages are drilled in our heads subliminally and these are the shadows that we follow as the truth. Through propaganda & the modern screen, the media attempts to manipulate our minds about who the good and the bad people are and give us misleading information about different cultures and different countries resulting in people hating other people for no other reason than the “shadow” of truth; and yet, we believe our ignorance to be the good. With prejudices that perpetuate fear and ignorance delivered with a dose of superiority which gives most an opportunity to separate people from the knowledge of the shadow before even really being aware of the truth alleviate an obligatory compulsion to correct it. People then use prejudices that perpetuate fear and ignorance to mask their own. This prejudice is delivered with a dose of unfounded superiority which gives most an opportunity to separate them from the impending knowledge of the existence of the “shadow” before even really being aware of the truth, and thus alleviating an obligatory compulsion to correct it.
Not only are our minds, actions, and beliefs controlled and exploited, but some courageous individuals are even destroyed if they start to question life and seek the truth. Recall the cave allegory and the escaping prisoner who feels pity for his fellow prisoners. Suppose he were to go back and try to tell the others of his discovery. As he enters the cave he is blinded, for he cannot see anything in the pitch black cave. He can see that his vision is just altered and dimmed, not gone. As he tries to explain to the prisoners about the sun and the real world, the prisoners laugh and think that their fellow prisoner has gone mad. The men making these shadows and oppressing these prisoners may also see the prisoner who has returned as a threat to the life in the cave they have created because alternative modes of thought cast doubts on those existing and shake up core beliefs causing one to question existence and purpose. This is symbolic of people such as philosophers who seek the truth, find it, and try to enlighten others. The task of sharing the truth and ultimate knowledge can be exhausting because the ignorant may be in disbelief and will not be interested, for to believe, to be interested would mean that their lives have been totally pointless; most people are not ready for this revelation. This noble task becomes impossible when the people in power realize the danger in the act of the philosopher and try to put an end to his actions to save ignorance and thus their grip on power. Religious leaders like Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, all have been threats to the power structure that must continue to make people believe that the shadows are the good, the truth. When someone comes and says, “it’s not true” they are derided, imprisoned, and even killed. In Buddhism there is the tradition of the Bodhisattva, one who decides to forego his own nirvana so that he can help others “see the light.” Indeed, nirvana means literally, “blowing out the light.” If there is no light in the cave, there is no way to confuse people, for they can not see the shadows anymore, they can not watch the news programs.
But when we look closer we can see that we are in fact means of these productions we allow to control us. We are exploited and give up our life force when we become passive consumers. As Morpheus in The Matrix says, we are in a prison that we cannot see, smell or touch; “The world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you form the truth”…. “A prison for your mind” (The Matrix). The recognition of the limit of our knowledge seems to be foundational for beginning to remedy that condition. To paraphrase Morpheus again, this thing that is wrong with the world is like a splinter in the mind that drives one crazy. The life one believes they have led is not the totality of what is possible for them and releasing self from bonds one cannot see enables the truth to finally be visible and realized.
It is rather interesting that Plato gave this allegory of the cave over two thousand years ago and still it holds true in the 20th century. Many people are not ready to step out of their false reality (cave) as they are hopelessly dependent on the system (men reflecting objects, the fire, the 50 inch wide screen) and will fight, sometimes themselves, to protect it. In a way we must become aware of the blind submission that is required by authority by any means necessary. As I study the cave allegory more deeply, I cannot help but put myself in the position of the captive men. I think anyone in this position has a choice to make as each of us in this world does. One would have the choice of ignoring the truth and continuing to live as he has been told, seek the truth and enlighten others, or find the truth and take advantage to empower the rest. Personally I would choose to risk my life and enlighten others as I would hope many others would do. I would imagine this path to be a lonely and frustrating path to live for many people are trapped in their ways, brainwashed by the materialistic world, and have no idea of the large percentage of their lives that is in the hands of our psychological masters.
“If man neglects education he walks lame to the end of his life” -Plato

Friday, July 15, 2011


All of a sudden it’s loud.
This noise,
is constantly around.
When I'm driving, working, jogging, eating.
it’s the quietness that’s loud
yes It’s, the loneliness without you, that’s piercing with sound.
This emptiness is so intense.
My eyes locked on the door,
I see you walking in
With that smile I fell in love with.
Your glare calms me, I give in.
All of a sudden it’s loud
Dark clouds replace your smile.
Rain starts to fall down.
I close my eyes,
Your body next to mine
Every second cherished.
Your energy SO divine.
I open my eyes
Your presence replaced by empty winds
Thoughts of you pinch the corner of my heart
Feeling of bareness
This loud noise is slowly tarring me apart.
These thoughts are slowly taking over my mind.
My body goes numb.
Pleasuring pain in my stomach
As you brush my hair away from my face.
Tightly holding my waste.
Gently pushing your soft lips against mine.
The reality of emptiness,
Of this quietness and painfulness,
it has become unbearable.
yes, It’s the quietness that’s loud.
it’s the loneliness without you, that’s piercing with sound.
This emptiness is so intense.
I grasp for air
You don’t love me anymore
I know this

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

My Drive back

I look down when you speak, hiding my tears behind my hair incase you peak
Angry for your loneliness
Annoyed with your pessimism
Bitter because you don’t listen
My heart broken, I am no help.
I leave your presence gloomy and frustrated
No hate towards you, only towards your decisions
Your glare saddens me
Your words hurt me
I'm tired of you not being stronger
Of you not letting the past go
Of you delaying a positive future
I have failed in waking you up from this shock you are in
I fear the day that I lose you, and dread the inevitable regrets
The distance between us
All the lost times

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Perfectly made by God. My shape, my hair, my curves, my thighs. Every mole perfectly placed where it’s supposed to be. I won’t give in, I won’t change it, No way, not me. My soul is as pure as its supposed to be. Took my name at birth and built an identity. I will live free. Independent of you trying to change me. I will find peace. Your chess piece, I refuse to be. My nose, toes, lips, and cheeks, I won't critique. I won't paint my face. My natural beauty, I choose to embrace. My wrinkles idicate my pain within, where my smiles have been. No, i wont give in. My pErf3ct ears and eyes All protect me from your wicked lies. Your, selfhatred cries. You, want me under the knife. Wanna feed me your way of life. Trying to keep me down. You, hope to see me frown. I won’t give in. No way, not I. Because MY imperfections, were made perfectly. Placed exActly where they were supposed to be.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Four Letter Word

Go on, run along
I’m Not ready for you yet,
Don’t know who you are yet,
Not sure if I can handle you yet,
Couldn’t be loyal to you yet,
Can’t open up to you yet,
Don’t wanna share a thing with you yet,
You’re too strong
Mentioned in too many songs
Done too many wrong. so,
go on, run along
I Got too much on my plate,
Don’t need a temporary mate,
Not ready to open up the gate,
Soul mate.
I won’t stress myself over you
I got plenty time for you
Will never be overdue
I won’t leave feeling blue
I plan to give my all to
My heart to. So,
Go on, run along
I’m back to square one
not yet strong
I don’t know where you belong
To my one, and only
Deep in your eyes,
Fearing the thought
of being

Sunday, February 14, 2010


Today I realized that I feel no pain.


It wasn’t simple but she made peace with the past
It was only after the fact
After all the cracks, the attacks, self reflections, and the many rejections, that she felt a connection
That there was something there underneath all the anger and frustration
She doesn’t point fingers and blame
It was something that had to be done, for them to stay sane
But All you saw was the exterior
Not aware of the interior
Painful nights all alone
To you, their life styles was unknown
Slowly entering the danger zone
While they were getting stoned
Swirled with different worlds, as they learned to distinguish different codes
Feeling unattached
Like out of nowhere they were snatched
In opposite directions
Reaching out for affection from many wrong angles
Such a bad selection
Still, with him, she made peace
She thought to herself, Forgiveness IS key
Learning from experiences can set you, free

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Noble Truths

I read a book called “Asian Philosophies” by John M. Koller and I’d like to share a small portion of it. Before I do that, I’d like to share a quote from a book, which was recommended to me by a good friend called “The Mind’s eye” by Henri Cartier-Bresson. This book is actually on photography. Cartier writes, “Buddhism is neither a religion nor a philosophy, but a medium that consists in controlling the spirit order to attain harmony and, through compassion, to offer it to others.”
The four Noble Truths taught by the Buddha are number 1: “The truth of what suffering is”. This noble speaks of arising and brings up all the sufferings that we as humans go through. It speaks of the suffering of birth, death which includes sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and disparity. More suffering that is mentioned here is “association with the unpleasant, dissociation for the pleasant” and “not to get what one wants ”. The first one is about humans finding rebirth and death as a cycle of suffering. The Buddha goes on to believe that humans see themselves as changing and perceive their core as unchanging and think of themselves as “separate, not only from other beings, but also from their own body and mind”. The Buddha believes that this thought that most humans share is ignorant and believes that all things are continuously changing and are consistent with all other forms or beings. The Buddha finds no separation between beings and does not see the beings as permanent. The main point here is that it is ignorant, and a failure bound to happen if one were to detach or separate themselves, along with being permanent and staying unchanged through the five aggregates (physical process, process of sensation, perceptual process, volitional process, and the process of consciousness) when all these five groups are constantly changing processes. The second noble is “The truth of the conditioned arising of suffering”. The main suffering that is discussed here is craving. It is explained that craving is “a strong, desperate form of desire that moves a person to extremes in trying to attain or avoid something”. An example would be a person who is addicted to sex and they would do anything in their power to get it even if it had to go as far as raping a person. This act brings suffering, however this is not to be confused with the craving and desire of food, or the desire for a toothache to get better. Desire becomes suffering when the craving is selfish or greedy.
The third noble is about elimination: “The truth that suffering can be eliminated by eliminating its conditions”. This noble mainly speaks of nirvana, which is a positive outlook to try and eliminate craving that leads to suffering. The positive viewpoint of nirvana “refers to the peaceful and joyous life free from suffering that is achieved by extinguishing craving for performance”. The fourth noble is “The truth that the way to remove the conditions that give rise to suffering is to follow the middle way, constituted by the noble Eightfold Path”. This noble is the Buddha guide to life. This noble is to eliminate both craving and ignorance. It speaks of making ones speech, actions, motives pure and stopping the inflow of other additional cravings. This noble includes “right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration” along with the right view, right intention, and livelihood. These four truths are experienced by Buddha to eliminate suffering (duhkha).
I think these four nobles constitute sufficient analysis of duhkha, both its rising and elimination. The Buddha explains each suffering very clearly and it shows how they come to be suffering. It is either through ways we cannot control (labor pain), or through things, we can control (ignorance of self permanency). Buddhism recognizes suffering and tries not to reduce them but in fact to eliminate them through good, pure practice, self and mental discipline. The sufferings are negative; nonetheless, the Buddha sees the positive side and brings it out for a better life through love, compassion, wisdom, and moral conduct. :)


While he conceals pain
He wishes that she could see
Dreaming only in his sleep…he reaches for the stars….only to wake up to his endless scars
Suddenly he knew exactly where he was from
His bay rum mixed with her scent left him feeling num
Where did she come from?
Lost in her own soul,
in her own scars,
Blind to his love
She was only after his lust

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Fearless collapse

Falling without fear in her heart
Without being embarrassed to express her art
Free your mind and find independence in your soul
Gaze out of the window and watch the snow fall into the hole
Empty souls
Beyond what you were ever looking for
Incomplete lives looking for a piece of mind
Lost in the battle
Beauty versus ugly expressed the insecurities they were concealing
Surprisingly revealing
Took her garment off
Started feeling
Falling with no fear is all she was ever feening

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Taking the First Step

Recently, I updated my facebook status which read, “Avatar = 2 thumbs up for creativity and imagination, and four thumbs down for its story line”. Some people disagreed, saying that it was an awesome movie all around. In response, I wrote a rather lengthy response defending my status.
Later, a cool friend of mine, Walid Nazari, messaged me via facebook chat and told me that he liked my critic. We got to chatting and he mentioned that I should start my own blog page. I thought this was a great idea since I enjoy analyzing just about anything.
Having had known very little about blogging, I asked a couple of questions and he introduce me to BlogSpot. So, Here I am! I like to speak on various topics and I enjoy the feedback.
This should be interesting. MUuHAHAHAHAHAHA!